Thinking of my mom

I wonder how my mom is doing right now? It's been a long time since I saw her. I really miss my mom, but I can't do anything to see her. I don't even know where she is at this time. I only know that she has a new husband, and they're living together. She didn't contacted me since we fought. I think she got mad at me. I know I am a hardheaded child of her, and we didn't always agree.

It has been 8 years since she left us and my dad. There were times when I hoped for her to come back. In fact I wished that she and dad would get back together. But I can't blame my mom for not coming back to dad, because when they were together I saw that my dad did physically hurt my mom a couple of times. That's the reason why she left, and I understand her. But as a mother of 4 children, she shouldn't have abandoned us. At least she could have taken my little brother who was very small then.

Before, we are always longing for her presence, but now that we're all grown up, it is easier and we are used to have no mother around us. I cannot read my brothers minds, so I don't have idea what my brothers think of mom. Do they miss her? I do think of her, just not always. I may be far away from her, but she is our mother and I love her, I wish I could see her one day again. I miss her!

Blackout

Today is Sunday, no school, no work, and also no electricity all over Leyte and Samar. If you didn't charge your phone last night, you are out of connection at least until tonight. The blackout was announced yesterday. Sometimes it is just good to have a break from the internet. I think the power will be back in the evening. 

My phone battery is at 25% only. So this is going to die soon, but I am not worried, because I borrowed a powerbank from a friend. Once my phone dies, I can just charge it with the powerbank. I'm thankful that someone I know has a powerbank. Next time I'm getting my own powerbank so that I don't have to bother other people. I used to have two powerbank, but I lend one to a friend who then lost it, and the other one I gave to my mom. I'm not sure if she still has it. One of both was really a good quality. I got it for free from purchasing the iPhone 6 back in 2015. All are gone now (as well as the iPhone which got stolen)! 

Holiday

Today we don't have class in NSTP because it is holiday. It is called People Power Revolution Day, and it commemorates the EDSA revolution against the former president Marcos, who is said to have reigned like a dictator with martial law in the Philippines. That was long time ago, before I was born.

There are no classes in every school today. Holidays are always free time for students. I can only imagine the happy faces of elementary and high school students due to having no classes. I am still young at heart, so even I jumped right after the teacher announced that the next day doesn't have classes. Well, at least, I felt like that, even though I didn't really jump.

Holiday is just one day. Such isolated holidays are rare during the school year. The longer holidays are semester break, Christmas, and summer break. Students have to follow that vacation schedule. But once you are done with studying, you can take vacations whenever you like. You can work or not, and it depends on how comfortable your life is. If you are poor, you can afford vacations rarely, but if you're lucky to be born rich, then can afford lots of vacation. You're not even inclined to find a job right after you graduate.

Thoughts

How I wish I was already finished with my studies and already employed. I think when I'm working and earning, I can save some money so that later in the future I can start my own business. I want to be my own boss instead of being employed. Haisst, when would that day come? It is still a long way to reach my goals, as I am still at the middle of studying.

One day I will start a small business that hopefully will grow bigger. I know what I want to do, and I will make it come true. I'll do my best to start it. I could have done it before, but I was stupid to spend all the money that came to my hand instead of saving. I wasted money and never I realized of investing any to a small business. I was young and immature back then. Well, even now, life gets me confused sometimes, but before it I was even more confused.

I wish I could turn back times and correct my mistakes and bad decisions. Now, I am back to the beginning. How I wish I was born wealthy so that I have no problem doing what I wanted in life.

Salida

I'm currently here inside the convention center at Tacloban city, attending a dance event which is related to our Physical Education subject. I am in pain, due to dismenorhea, but I can endure this for the sake of my grade in P.E. According to our instructor, we will get 50 credit points if we watch the event. Those points count for our previous incomplete activities. Those who bought tickets but are not going to watch the event will only get half of the points.

In order to prove that we really came to watch, are inclined to encode a short sentence, and then insert a picture of us taken inside the convention center. That's what our instructor told us inside the classroom. The additional credit points are a huge help for me, because I had low grades in P.E.

San Juanico Bridge

Yesterday in our free time, I and my classmates decided to visit the San Juanico Bridge here in Tacloban, Leyte, which is considered the most beautiful bridge of the Philippines. It is also the longest bridge over seawater in the Philippines with 2200m (7200 ft). This was a spontaneous decision, someone came up with the idea and the majority of us liked it.

From the school, we went to downtown to look for the transport that goes to the bridge. But nobody of us did know where the Jeepney start that goes to the bridge. We tried to ask a few people until we found a jeepney. Going to San Juanico Bridge costs only 13 pesos by jeepney.

However, our trip wasn't that great. When we were half way, it started raining, and then it stopped after a while. When we reached the bridge, we were surprised that the highway wasn't wet, which means it didn't rain there. So we started walking from the beginning of the bridge to the end. But when we're in the middle of the bridge it started raining again. We got wet. We had only two umbrellas, not enough for all of us. That's what happened in our first visit to San Juanico Bridge.

Online shopping

Are you experienced with online shopping? Did you ever purchase dresses or other clothing items online? My opinion is: forget it for dresses or shoes, because disappointments is frequent if the color or the size does not fit.

Looks can be deceiving! The item looked nice and right size on pictures, but when you then receive it and see it in real, it may look completely different. To avoid disappointments, do not order things when you have doubts. I am similar to most of you, when I have extra money and then I see something nice online, I want to get it. But I always stop myself from buying anything online. One of my friends had bad experiences with online shopping, therefore I am careful with this.

This does not mean no online shopping at all. It is ok for certain items, such as make-up, stationary, etc., just not for clothes. Well, if you get lucky with clothes sizes then that's good. It's just sometimes even you get the size you think would fit you, it comes too large or too small for you. So buying dresses online isn't that good. Just saying!

Vacation soon

Just one more month, and then it is summer vacation time. It's going to be a longer vacation this time, about two months. You can do many things without thinking about school homework. Some other students will take summer classes, but my course does not need that. I still haven't figured out what I will do on the upcoming summer. There's a lot of things that I want do, yet I can't decide what to do. I wish I could go somewhere worth visiting this year though.

I even got invited by my old girl friends to go to Boracay in March, but that's too early. I will still be in class at that time, hence I said no. It would have been tempting if it was free. I am still a student, and I write blogs in order to make a little bit of money, but the money is just enough for my everyday expenses. So I refused to go with them. Maybe when I graduated and find a better job with a reasonable salary, then it's the time I could afford to travel to other places. So I guess I'll just stay in province during summer, or I go to my cousin in Manila. I still have plenty of time to think of what I want to do later anyway.

Getting Logs

This afternoon, we are going to the farm with my cousin and my auntie to get some log for cooking. It's nice to go there now, because the weather is good. It has been raining the past few days, but today isn't. We need to get logs because we don't have much left for cooking. Also, because it is not raining, we hope to get dry logs.

The logs don't cost anything at the farm. People who can't afford a gasstove usually go to the farm to cut logs to bring back home. My auntie has a gasstove, but she stopped using it, because gas cost money. Sometimes we use charcoal. Either way is good for cooking, but the advantage of logs is that it is cheapest.

Hopefully we will be able to carry enough logs. Going to the farm is not easy, it takes energy to go there, and a lot of walking. Aside from getting logs, I hope I can find some guavas. I feel like eating sour fruits this time.

Divine Mercy Chapel

There is this place called Tungkip Bridge located in Llorente Eastern Samar. There, you can see a big chapel called Divine Mercy Chapel. Once you get through the gate, you'll see the amazing ambiance of their church. Well, the chapel is often closed, but even the outside is nice. There's a lot of things that you can do once you go there: you can do skateboarding, you can take picture with your friends, or just sit and relax. The view is really nice, because it is nearby the ocean. No wonder many foreigners visit the place!

But this chapel is not being used for regular masses. It is too far away from the actual village. It is not easy to go there, since there is no public transportation to here, as the road is too narrow and not fixed. So you have to walk. If you are an adventurous person, you'll like it. Also don't go there when you're alone, better if you're with a group of people or friends. The walk is a bit away from everything. I'm not saying it is dangerous, but I think going with friends makes you feel more comfortable. That's at least my opinion about the place.

My tasks for today

The weather is looking good on this Sunday morning. Today should be a free day for most people, but not to me. I have many things to do today: First, I have to do our laundry. We have so many dirty clothes that I and my cousin are going to wash. My auntie will not be able to help us, as she has work until noon today. This will take us hours to finish our laundry, but we still have enough time to dry them when we're done.

Our second task for today is going to the farm. We'll have to gather logs for cooking. Perfect timing for this is in the afternoon. Right now the field is slippery, and logs is probably wet since it is morning and the sun hasn't really coming out yet. But you can tell already now how nice the weather will be today. So after writing this, we'll be heading to the river. According to my cousin, the past few days had rain, so people couldn't go to the river and wash clothes. They were worried that clothes don't get dry. I just hope it is not too crowded this time. So I'm going off now. Have a great day to all!

Going home

I am done with school for today. Since tomorrow is Sunday I decided to go home to Samar. I'm now here at the van-van terminal bound for Borongan. This van will leave at 5pm, so by 8pm I'll be home already. Maybe earlier than 8pm if the driver drives fast. I feel hungry, even though I ate lunch, I wanted to eat before I leave the city, but I had to hurry myself so that I can catch the last van going to Borongan. I'll just eat when I get home. My cousin told me on the phone that they cooked seashells, and vegetables.

It's been a while since the last time I had seashells. I can't wait to get home. I'm going to eat, and then rest. I brought my notes, so while I'm at home, I can review some of my notes for the exams on Monday. It is not really necessary for me to review everything, because we only have Q&A in speech communication which should be easy for me.

Thoughts

Good morning everyone! Today is Friday. I'm still in bed, no homework to do, so writing my thoughts right now is not a bad idea. Yesterday wasn't really a good day for me, it's been raining the whole time and flooding as usual. But now waking up and looking at the sky makes me think this is going to be a nice day. The sky is so bright today.

I could stay on bed until 4pm and then get up and get ready for school for my 5pm class. But I don't feel tired at all. I mean I had 10 hours of sleep, so that means I have a lot of energy for today. Maybe I do my laundry, but right now it is still cold and I'm not sure if I can wash clothes at this time. Also, I feel lazy for doing my laundry. My god, I really can't decide what I should do!

I haven't had breakfast yet. I want to eat pancake from Jollibee since I have some gift certificates here, still from my Valentine;s gift. I have enough certificates to eat Jollibee all week long, but I cannot keep up eating the same thing everyday. Well, final decision I'm going out and get some food from Jollibee. I hope everyone has a good day, or night, wherever you are, or what country you living in. Good luck!

Determination

The next examinations are coming next week, hence it's going to be a rough week for me. And it means I have to be in the city until the examination day is over. That is so okay with me. I have to review and focus on my study. This will be the pre-final examinations, I can't fail neither of my subjects. I think I will have to do better this time. I know, I can! It is just the P.E. subject that worries me. Until now I still cannot memorize the dance steps that we need to show next week. I don't know what to do with it.

College is never easy, everything is difficult, and stressful, but I think I can manage it. All you have to do is to be positive on things, and do as much as you can to overcome the difficulties you're dealing with. After you put enough efford in something, things will go your way as you want it, And so is studying. I'm thinking if I give up one of my subjects just because I find it hard to do, it means I am weak, and that won't help me to graduate. My course is only two years, one year of studying is almost over. I'm half way to fulfilling my goal, I'm not giving up. I can do this!

New haircut

It's been so long since the last time I had bangs. After 2012, I decided to let my hair grow longer. I got used to my hairstyle, but today I made up my mind to have bangs once again. I asked my friend if getting bangs is a good idea. She agreed to my decision, and since she knew how to cut hair, she suggested to do it so that I don't have to spend money to go to a parlor.

I like how she cut my hair. I have a new hairstyle now. Our class will start at 4:30pm, so I'll see my classmates reaction on my new bangs. I am not sure whether they will like it, though. Anyway, their opinions don't really matter. I just love how my new hairstyle looks like. I'm thanking my friend for her effort, and for not charging me for the haircut. She's good at cutting hair. In the future she could build her own salon business.

Killing a crazy dog

I am an animal lover and I don't like it when animals get killed. I also think it is against the law to kill a dog. But what about a crazy dog that threatens the safety of children? Is that an offense at all?

Here in our barangay, a few dogs got killed. People didn't kill them just because they wanted to. The dogs were crazy, and had bitten some people already. Even the new born baby dogs of my auntie's dog got deadly bitten by a crazy dog. Six puppets died. I was here that one night. I heard the puppets crying, and my uncle and my dad woke up to see what's going on. They tried to get the crazy dog, but it was not easy to find the crazy dog at night.

But later on, people caught the crazy dog and killed it. For the puppets, it was too late, they all died that night. No baby dog survived. I love dogs, I hate seeing dogs killed by other people. But it is better that the bad dogs died so that they cannot victimize other dogs or people. There are plenty of crazy dogs here in the province, and they even bite people when they come too close. I am against killing animals, but sometimes it seems necessary for the safety of all.

The Phillippines' Traffic Problem

Makati Traffic

Why is the traffic in some other countries lighter? Is it that because their driving skills is different? Or are their streets better? Or is it the number of cars that need to be lower? In many Western countries, the number of cars per 100 inhabitants is higher than in the Philippines, yet the traffic seems more cruel in the Philippines. It is one of the main problems here in the Philippines, especially in Manila. There are so many cars on the streets that you cannot go anywhere quicklym it will always take you long time. Workers sometimes arrive late at their work, because of traffic.

The president of the Philippines must work on this matter. I know there are solutions, it just needs a great leader to solve the traffic problem. He has done a lot in just a short period of time. Next should be the traffic problem on his agenda. I think if we have a new train system in Manila, traffic might get better.

I've been to a country which there is no traffic at all, the only time that the cars stop is when there is the signal light. It's the amazing country of Singapore. Plus, Singapore has an amazing underground train system (MRT). I hope Philippines can adopt some of Singapore's great policy.

Sweet Moment

Surprising someone dear to your heart doesn't need to be always at the exact date of a holiday. If it is sweet, then it is even sweeter when it is not on the expected day. Just like what happened today! My classmate wanted to surprise his girlfriend, and even though the Valentine's Day was already yesterday, he wanted it today. The surprise would be even bigger. This is what happened: during our breaktime, I was with my girl friends when he approached us and asked for our advice. He explained to us that he wants to surprise his girlfriend who works as a high school teacher. I am not good at surprising people, but my other friends had many suggestions and ideas what he could do.

After a while of planning, we went to buy all items: smaller flowers for each of us, a cake and a big a bouquet of flowers. After we settled everything, we then went to his girlfriend's school where she was teaching. So each of us girls went one by one inside to give his girlfriend our flowers, while he was hiding outside. Finally, as last person, he went inside the classroom with the bouquet, to enlighten his girlfriend who was already courious what this is all about.

It was my first time to be a part of that kind of surprise. I've never done it before. I was happy to witnessed their sweet moment. Now I know how it works next time someone would try to ask my help for this kind of surprise.

Movie Theater Trouble

Am I the only one who had trouble at the movie ticket counter today? I almost didn't make it to the cinema to watch "Fifty Shades Darker" as I didn't bring any ID with me, because I thought they wouldn't ask for it. I am already 23 years old, so I trusted that I look old enough. But I was wrong.

I was with my classmate, and we planned to watch the movie together. I met her at the front of the mall after I got my gifts. We went directly to the movie counter to buy tickets, but the movie sales lady asked me if I have an ID with me. She asked just me, not my classmate. I said, I'm sorry I don't have one here. She told me to ask the guards if they could let us in without ID before buying our tickets. The guards said no, they can't us inside without any proof of age. I was starting to get annoyed, but I tried to calm myself down. So I called my friend oversea by phone. He is in a different time zone, and I ringed him out of the bed, but I asked whether he has a picture of my passport. He should have since he did already book flights for me once. Luckily, he found some and sent them over the internet to me. Proudly, I showed that to the lady and we could finally buy the tickets.

So that's what going to happen if you're not tall enough for watching an adult movie. Better bring an ID next time just to be sure! And if you forgot, it is always good to have a friend who you can call for help! Thanks!

Unexpected gift on Valentine's Day.

Unexpected surprises are most exciting. I thought I wouldn't get anything on Valentine's Day. I wasn't expecting anything today. I considered the 14th of February just as a regular day, nothing more. I got up late since I have no classes today. When I got hungry, I decided to go out to the mall for lunch. I was at mall roaming around for an hour when I received an unexpected call from an unknown number. I answered the phone call and a guy on the line told me "Happy Valentines, ma'am" and that they were about to deliver something from LBC.

When I heard that, I was stunned and didn't know what to say, but after a short while I told them where I was. And so they came and handed me the gift. It was in a box, but I had already an idea what I was getting, so when I opened the box I wasn't mistaken: inside were chocolates, flowers and a bear, and some Jollibee gift certificates. I wasn't expecting anything today, but I'm really grateful for everything. Many thanks to the person who created this surprise to me! It made me feel like I am truly a human being who has the right to receive something special just like this. Again, Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is not just for couples! Love can come in various forms, it is either love for your parents, siblings, or partners, or wife or husband. February the 14th is the day of hearths where you show love to everyone who is special in your life. But some people make it a big deal that they are not having a date on Valentine's Day, and some become disappointed with it.

We're all deserve to be loved by someone special. If you know you are not having a date on the 14th, well, be happy still, because your time will come, and you'll find the right person for you. Who knows what happens later. Maybe your Valentine's date becomes your Forever who you are not only spending Valentine's day but many years, maybe your whole life. So to all the singles out there, be happy with your life, and don't be bitter! If you have no significant other yet, then date your parents instead, or your siblings. I think that would be a good idea! Anyway: Happy Valentine's day to all of us and have a blessed day!

Tiny River called "Salog"

We have this tiny little river here in our barangay called "Salog" where we wash our laundry. The river can only be used when it is rainy season, otherwise it is too dry. We not only do our laundry there, but also sometimes use the water to shower.

Why using the river? Because it is easier washing clothes there than washing in the backyard. If you go to the river, you don't need to fetch water from the faucet. There is only one faucet in the village, so you would need to carry water long way. At the river, you can wash the clothes without worring about dirty water, because the bubbles will be gone quickly, unlike when you are washing clothes in the tub where you always need to add fresh water over time.

I would do my laundry in the river more often, but the problem is that I don't always have someone with me there. The place is a bit afar from everything, so it is not good to be there alone. So mostly I go when my cousin is around, we go together. Or I go with my auntie to quickly wash some laundry.

Thoughts

It is easier to live your life when you've got nothing to worry about. Just be happy and go with the flow! Because once we keep finding faults in everything we do, we get unhappy. We are the creator of our own happiness, we only wants what's the best for us. Never hold on to any problem in your head. It is only going to keep you on thinking.

Be positive on all the possibility of life! Forget all the things that worry you! Live as normal just like what everyone does! Smile more often, make friends with others, and be active with your daily life! Don't be so distant to people! Just be yourself and hope that everybody accepts you!

Remember that whatever problems you're in, there is always a way to get through it. Don't blame yourself for anything, because everything happens for a reason. And it happened not because you wanted it to happen, it just happened. Get through, move on, and be happy!

Copra (Coconut)

Coconut is useful, because you can earn money from it. Lucky those who own some coconut plants! The way how it works here is, once they gathered all the coconuts, they started cutting it, and put it under the fire. When it is already cooked, they'll start taking the coconut meat from the coconut shells, and then put on the sacks. This is called Copra. One kilograms of Copra is worth 22 Pesos. If you have enough plants to make 500 kg of Copra, you get over 10000 Peso.

But the Copra distributors make even more money. They buy the Copra from the province people and sell it in the city. They can easily triple their capital this way. The reason why not too many people are of the Copra reselling business is because of lack of budget. It needs enough capital for a business like Copra. Well, the reason why I write about this is because I have seen my cousin entering the Copra business. They have sacks of coconuts in their backyard.

Fever from too much work

Don't laugh! I got sick from doing laundry! Now I must rest to get my strength back.

Yesterday, due to the very hot weather, laundry was stressful. Also, before dark, I went to drive my brother's motorbike, and while I was driving away the rain started to fall. It was already cold, and the wet air caused me to get sick. I really don't like it when I have a runny nose or headache or when it's hard to breath. Even my body was aching. I felt like I been lifting heavy stuff all day long. Well, I did yesterday, as I needed water to wash my laundry. First I had to fetch water and put on the the tub. Nobody helped me with it,  so I had to do it all by myself. Fetching water is difficult, when you have to bring it all the way to where your tub is. That's how province life is, we don't own a faucet.

So today I went to my cousin's house. His wife happened to know about massaging, so she gave me a massage for 50 Peso. I thought my body pain would go away after getting massage, but until now I am still feeling bad, and my arms is painful. My auntie told me if you feel the body pain while having cold, then the possibility is you'll be having fever, so before bed time I took medicine for fever, I hope this goes away when I wake up.

Philippines National Police (PNP)

The PNP is a lot in the news lately when browsing the internet. And it is mostly not good news: Blaming, hating, shaming all of the PNP. I find it a bit unfair to those who are loyal and dedicated to their professions. Sure there are a couple of black sheeps, but I know there are still good cops around. Some police troops do big time wrong, and because of those, also the nicest cops get bad press on the net. And the common people can't be blamed for not trusting most cops nowadays.

As a person who knew a few good cops, of course I just can't let my thoughts pass without commenting on this matter. I have relatives who are cops, and I know they're not the same as the other cops who do cruel things for money. Cops must be respected, but only those who are worth of it.

I hope these bad cops will soon be gone, I hope they stop shaming themselves for money. If only they work and act as a true policemen then there would be no problem.

Relieved

The best feeling in the world is when you have people around you that listen to you. That understand you for what you're going through. I thought I wouldn't be able to tell someone about what's bothering me, but here I am feeling so relieved that could discuss my personal problem that I wanted to forget, even though it can't be forgotten.

That feeling when you've no guts to tell anyone, even your family, about it, but you still ended up telling it to another person. And the other person takes you serious and discusses it with you honestly. In my case, it was better telling someone about my problem who is not a family. The own family sometimes does not have the necessary distance to the problem and then family betrays you by gossiping about it, or family exaggerates and by that bring you down. It is really hard to trust anybody nowadays. You'll only sense who's trusted and not.

I'm thinking if I would ever tell my mom about what I am going through, would she listen to me? Would she understand me? Would she cry and hug me? So many questions are in my head that are hard to answer.

Vacation is almost over

Today is Friday, just one more day before going back to the city. Vacation is comig to an end. Usually Monday noon is school day for me, so it means I will be having a hectic schedules this coming week, since we had a week of vacation. I'll have to deal with the P.E dance steps again, I have to learn the steps my teacher teached us last time. The sad thing is that I can no longer remember how the exact moves are.

P.E stressed me out everytime! I am bad at dancing, it's hard for me to learn. In school when we practice I'm always the one left hanging, looking at my other classmates who follow the dance steps easily. I really have to learn the dance steps that our teacher gaves us last time, because it will be our pre-final oral exam.

Sometimes I feels like giving up my P.E subject but thinking I'd not graduate if I stop going to P.E class, so I continue going, even tho it is hard dealing the subject. Those who can dance won't understand the struggle of other people who don't know how to dance. To them it's not a big deal, but to me everything that's difficult is always a big deal.

Canhugas Nature Park

It is official: The Canhugas Nature Park is no longer free for visitors. It has an entrance fee pg 1- PHP already. I think it is very affordable for every visitor. It is the same entrance fee with Minasangay. The advantage of most resorts and beaches here in the province is that they don't ask for too much in the entrance fee. Most other beaches demand a higher entrance fee than 10 PHP. But still Canhugas can now make money from that entrance fee from visitors. Let's hope the fee is used for preserving the nice environment there.

Now that Canhugas is no longer free, I hope that the number of visitors that comes to the place won't change. Everytime I visit the place, it's always crowded. I haven't been to Canhugas since the entrance fee is on, but soon I might go there to check it out now. Maybe the number of smaller children that spend their leisure time there may be reduced, since they can't really afford the 10 PHP, unless they are with their parents. But I will still go there, and pay my 10 PHP, since it is a nice place.

Weather is good for laundry

Just done with my laundry! My auntie will be happy once she gets home from work when she sees that I washed all her dirty clothes. This is the first time for me doing laundry alone at my auntie house. Most times, I and my cousin do things together, but she went to her school today, so I decided to do the laundry alone. They will be surprised. I can't wait to see their reaction later.

The weather is really nice today. Tomorrow my auntie has her free day. She works as a househelp and mostly does laundry at her boss' house. Hence, I think she would be too tired to do her own laundry on her break day. Instead, she can relax tomorrow. That's why I did her this favor. I am looking forward to doing more useful things for her.

All I have to do now, is wait for it to get dry so later I can pull it down.

P.E

I have a hard time with my dancing skills. Having a nice P.E instructor who understands students gives me more hope. P.E is one of the classes that are difficult for me. I do admire people who are good at dancing, but I really can't dance.

It's so hard for me to follow steps. I don't know why I can't just follow what everyone is doing easily. I don't want to faile the subject, but I still have two more practical dancing exams. I have survived the 1st and the 2nd ones, I even tried the 3rd ones this afternoon. Of course we only practiced but I haven't done it well.

Until nearly dismissal we continue our practice. Some know the dance steps already, some don't, including myself. So I approached my teacher before I left and told him that I will just keep practicing at home. He said: "It's okay,  you're not alone with this. I understand, but please continue practice." I was relieved when I left the door, because he talked to me in a nice way. It makes me smile and it motivates me to keep going. He is so much different than other teachers who only pay attentions to those who are better at whatever subjects they are holding.

Stupidity

I am wandering hungry and dizzy through the streets. How come this had to happen to me? I feel like I am one of these homeless people at the street right now. The money I have with me are just coins, not enough for bread or water. I am saving the coins for my transport back to my boarding house. I feel so weak, and thirsty, I haven't eaten since last night. I wouldn't be in this situation if my bank account didn't got closed.

My class for today starts at 4:30pm, so I went out around 12:00 noon to go to the ATM to withdraw some cash so I can buy some food. I should have my salary coming into my account. But I got disappointed as the machine did not give me any money. I tried three times, but it said my card is no longer usable. As far as I remember, I still had balance left on my card the last time I used the ATM. How come they closed my card? Was the balance too low? But there is money coming, what will happen to that transaction if the bank account is closed. Lots of worries. This is the first time it ever happened to me. I must really learn from this experience. Maybe I did not pay enough attention to the minimum balance required in my account. There's no one to blame but myself because I put up myself to this. I am the one that brought bad luck to myself. I hope I can solve this somehow.

Prelims and Midterms are over

Preliminary and midterm examinations are finally over for us. I am happily announcing that I've passed all my subjects. I don't  have such really good grades, but I didn't fail any midterm exams. That's good enough for me to keep going until I am finished.

I am so ready for the pre-finals  and finals to come. In just 2 months, the first year will finally over for me. Wow, I can't believe the second semester is about to come to an end. I will be done with my first year of college soon. I am happy and excited knowing I will be graduating in the next year, I hope so.

I think I will graduate this time. I tried so often and I cannot failed anymore. I need a life change, I don't want to go back doing the same thing I did before. All I want now is to keep digging. I want a comfortable life one day. I want to have a better job despite my situation. I'm not going to give up!

Bad weather, bad teacher

Even though it is raining here at the moment, I still want to say "Good morning to everyone here". I'm ready for school. I even woke up very early as my first subject starts at 7:30am, but I'm still here at my place waiting for the rain to stop. It is not stopping, flooding is coming up for sure.

But I'm glad we didn't have classes in CRM. My classmate told me that our CRM instructor didn't came to school. He is absent again, and then later he will probably give as reading material instead of teaching us. That's what he always do, just like the previous examinations. He gave us a handouts of 400 pages. He told us to study those handouts, but he gave us only very short time, and then a quiz. The way he teaches us is so different than other instructors we had. He could give us smaller pieces to study each day and he could explain, instead of giving us 400 pages at once without much explanation.

So many students are complaining of his teaching skills. I think he is still new to his job, so maybe that's the reason why his teaching are like that. This CRM course is not optimal for me.

Addiction to Facebook

Image thanks to Mayu Shimizu

Someone asked why my eyes are so red, and why am I losing weight. What? Really? Well, I noticed the changes of my body, but I don't really have time to mind it. I mean what can I do if that's how I'm becoming. Maybe it is school stress. I certainly get enough food. And about my eyes, they only get red when I don't have enough sleep at night. And yes, I can feel the pain sometimes when I am tired but not sleeping. My eyes turn to red become watery. Anyway I get used to it!

Some people around me always seem to notice things about me. My addiction to Facebook made me this way. I am 100% sure I got this eyes problem from using too much internet at night. Being on Facebook most of the time gives me a hard time sleeping. That's why I always have eyebags in the morning. How I wish I could stop this kind of habit! But how can I do this if I feel incomplete whenever I am not seeing stuff from my Facebook. It is really a bad addiction.

Miss Universe Philippines

There is still a lot of discussion about the Miss Universe Competition. People are disappointed that the Philippines did not win again. It seems everyone here in the Philippines still cannot get over with Miss Philippines' answers in the Q&A session. Many blame her for not speaking in Tagalog when she answered in English. I think her answers were okay, grammatically correct, maybe just that she didn't expressed it perfectly and that her answer were also short. People also wonder about why there was an interpreter to translate if she was speaking English.

To me Maxine did it well. She did wear her dresses with grace, even her swimsuit. Most people who criticize her don't even dare to wear a swimsuit. She even made it to the top six, and that is already something to be proud of. People are so judgemental, just because they think Maxine's performance didn't meet their expectations.

Of course I'm one of those who wanted her to win, but that's life, win or lose should be accepted. There is next time! Who knows how the next Miss Philippines will perform? Maybe it was just no luck this time, but next time will be more luck. Maxine Medina did well, and we should be proud of her and not criticize her.

Literacy Program in NSTP.

The exam we had in NSTP was different. Instead of answering a test paper, my group was assigned to go in a barangay to do a special task. It's called the literacy program. We gathered 30 kids in a tent owned by the barangay. Before we started with our task, we, collected money from our group so that we could buy snacks for the childrens. Not just that, we also planned something interesting for kids to see and do in the next NSTP program.

So we had someone who knows how to recycle bottles for reuse. Each one of us brought plastic bottles and scissors so we could help too. We made a pencil cases out of the bottles, and we also made some fan and other stuff. That was our midterm examination. We will continue doing the same thing by next NSTP program. Not bad, it helps us learn how to make use of our disposal, and it can help us to lower our plastic garbage, if we try this at home.

Sick Cousin

I just found out that my cousin is at stage 2 of breast cancer. I didn't know she's undergoing this illness until she had contacted me last night. She is looking for a househelp, because her husband is going back to Jeddah this coming month. She needs a househelp while she is going to a chemo therapy, and maybe an operation.

I understand her situation, as she has two little kids,  a boy and a girl that need to be taken care of. I wish I could find her a househelp as soon as possible. Her illness is a traitor, it can't be ignored. Until now I can't believe she has breast cancer. Looking at her photos in facebook, no one would think she has it. Stage 2 is already a worrying stage. I hope that she over come this, as she has childrens that needed a mother's care.

I'm so glad her husband has a job. He is been working abroad for years now. I think they have enough money to provide for her chemotherapy. I wish my cousin her recovery as soon as possible, she's only in her 30s.